Barack Obama's 2012 New Year's Resolutions
Posted: Thursday, January 05, 2012
by Josh Greenberger
by Josh Greenberger
(January 2012)
• Obama will eliminate Welfare by requiring all poor people to move in with rich people.
• Obama will further reduce our military budget to forestall a crisis where he has to curtail his vacations.
• Barack Obama will have a teleprompter installed in his kitchen so he can tell his wife what he wants for breakfast.
• For his next election Obama will choose a running mate who knows more about running the country than he does -- like, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.
• Obama will push through a bill requiring all Americans with more than three teeth to buy dental insurance. Those who refuse will be fined and get their teeth knocked out.
• To finally put to rest all questions of his eligibility to be president, Obama will make Kenya the 58th State, retroactively. (If you'll recall from the first time Obama ran for president, he said he campaigned in 57 States. And the media made fun of Dan Quayle for misspelling potato in 1992. Go figure.)
• Obama will increase American productivity and reduce the threat of Chinese competition by initiating a student exchange program with China. Chinese students will teach Americans how to work hard, and American students will teach the Chinese how to smoke crack, curse, use condoms, and then complain about how others are getting rich.
• Obama will make it illegal for law enforcement to search drug dealers who've been coming across the Mexican border regularly for at least five years.
• Obama will require all drug runners to get CIA clearance and a background check to make sure they never worked on Wall Street before they are allowed to sell guns to the Mexican drug cartels.
• Obama will hold fund raisers to pay off our national debt. With the money left over he'll do what he knows the American people want him to do -- buy new golf clubs.
Barack Obama is not just the worst president ever in the history of the United States, he is probably the worst human being ever to occupy the White House. His bold faced lies are unparalleled in the annals of our presidencies. Virtually all politician lie. But few do it as shamelessly as Barack Obama.
It does not seem to bother Obama one iota even when he knows we know he's lying. As long as we cant do anything about it, it seems to sit well with him. This is not just corrupt, this is wicked.
Every now and then you hear people say, "Oh, but he seems like a nice guy."
A pleasant demeanor alone is not what makes a person. The values and principles behind the facade do. If someone robs a bank with a smile, does that make him a nice guy? Of course not.
The only thing Barack Obama has proven himself to be really good at is catering to the most ignorant of our society who don't realize when they're being taken for a ride.
by Josh Greenberger
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